The Autopsy of Networking

Infinite Reach. Instantly Forgotten.

Figure 1: Rembrandt’s The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp (1632). A clinical performance in the “Theatre of Abstraction,” where we dissect the “Front Stage” of others to calculate their utility.

How people approach networking nowadays seems different than it used to be in the past. AI made us very easily forgettable. In times when everyone can sound smart and generate a perfectly polite and balanced message within seconds, we can see the shift happening. It’s much less about the quantity of connections and more about the quality of them. Collecting contacts is no longer prestigious or helpful if the person you meet cannot even remember you.

Are you worth being remembered in the first place?

This is where we must challenge Mark Granovetter’s opinion about “weak ties.” In his research, he proves that these shallow conversations with new people open us to new opportunities and allow us to see further than our close circle. Today, however, AI is “simulating” these weak ties. Since AI can generate the “bridge” (the polite intro, the shared info), it is devaluing the very thing Granovetter said was most important. If everyone has a bot building “bridges,” then “bridges” become generic and forgettable, leaving us only with the “theatre” and no real connection.

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The Theatre of Abstraction

In this essay, I want to challenge the stereotypes about networking and reveal an unspoken truth that probably most of us are aware of, yet we don’t challenge the status quo. Many professionals hate it. Many don’t feel comfortable with small talk. Many find it awkward and forced. For others, it’s like oxygen; they thrive. All these feelings are valid and reasonable.

This is why today I want to talk about The Theatre of Abstraction. We are all playing in the same spectacle but different roles at different times.

‘I’m thrilled to announce…’

It sounds anything but sincere. Everyone is maintaining the theater of professional connection while privately calculating whether you’re useful. Professionals are performers, playing their roles perfectly. It’s not even about you; it’s about the opportunities others think you represent.

That’s what draws people to you: the chance for a better future.

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The Staged Backstage

When it comes to professional presence, the “Front Stage” theory by Erving Goffman fits here perfectly. According to Goffman’s dramaturgical perspective, everyone performs specific roles for an audience to adhere to social norms and avoid embarrassment. We present a “public” side to feature only desired behaviors, as opposed to our “private” side—the “Backstage”—where we can let go of conventions and be truly ourselves.

However, in the digital age, it’s easy to follow the script and have a spotless online presence that checks all the boxes. On social media, you can live multiple lives and edit your personality. No one sees your true emotions; no one is expecting an immediate answer. We sacrificed spontaneity and vulnerability for staged human emotions.

Strong emotions always attract the widest audience; therefore, you will find a mix of tears of happiness and sadness all over the internet. I cannot count how many times the algorithm has pushed me toward these millennial crisis stories, starting with tears and losing a job, only to ultimately find a new purpose in life and become a full-time content creator. This just proves how algorithms work, but it’s not changing the fact that the vast majority of these stories are staged and over-exaggerated to guarantee viewers the best show. On the internet, you can be anyone.

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The Achievement Society

Byung-Chul Han, in his book ‘The Burnout Society’ extends this concept of curated personas, claiming that we have turned ourselves into a project to be optimized. We don’t see people as people anymore; we don’t “meet,” we “network.” He calls it the “achievement society,” in which our entire life becomes an extension of our professional career and ultimately, work.

Networking is inefficient. Human interactions resemble a beehive where we all share the same knowledge, because the tools we are using are the same and AI-generated messages sound the same. Authenticity and imperfection become rare and are truly human domains. In the synthetic world, we still seek human connections and gestures.

From the macroeconomic and leadership standpoint, the achievement society described by Han is not an asset for organizations. Instead of increased productivity and ROI, it leads to burnout and dissatisfaction. The market is saturated. Professionals are using AI to generate resumes; AI is often the first level of verification. Results? Thousands of nearly identical documents addressing every single point from the desired role description.

What is missing again? A human behind it.

Ultimately, is this about the spotless presence, or is this about the charismatic human behind it? What do you think brings more value? The new human metric worth looking at is simply staying yourself and standing strong for your opinions and your judgment—being charismatic, not searching for external validation from others. It’s a matter of accepting the fact that you are just human and you’re entitled to make mistakes and to deliver imperfectly. You can always iterate. It’s not a problem; this is the true value.

So the question isn’t

“How do I network better?”

It’s

“What makes me worth connecting to when everyone has infinite reach?”

I don’t have the answer, but I encourage you, dear reader, to sit down and think about it. By yourself. Without AI.

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This article is part of my Human Logic Series, exploring how to build a career AI can’t replace. More frameworks on Instagram and future deep-dives in upcoming newsletters.

Bibliography

Goffman, E. (1959). The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. Doubleday. (Dramaturgical Perspective: Front Stage and Back Stage).

Granovetter, M. S. (1973). The Strength of Weak Ties. American Journal of Sociology. (Social Network Theory).

Han, B.-C. (2015). The Burnout Society. Stanford Briefs. (The Achievement Society and Optimization).

Turkle, S. (2015). Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age. Penguin Press. (The sacrifice of spontaneity for digital connection).